Having too much time to get an abundance of tasks accomplished would sound like a pleasant dream to most people. While no one would want a pandemic to provide that abundance of time, the opportunity to take advantage of being at home, getting closets cleaned, years of dated papers shredded and basement and garage storage areas decluttered would seem productive and the right things to be doing under the circumstances. 

For me, too much time tells me one thing about myself. I am lazy.

There, I said it. I'm basically a lazy person, and unless I have a deadline to meet, I will find a way to get something else done instead of the "productive" chore I really should be doing. I was always fairly ambitious growing up (at one point I worked four jobs while trying to save money to buy my first house.) But as I've aged, free time has become more of a chore than a gift. Free time is meant to be enjoyed, but I have so many chores to get done.

Technology hasn't helped me become less lazy, as I use my phone constantly to google questions about qualifying for the coronavirus stimulus check, the birthdate of an entertainer from the past who I recently saw on TV or where to find bowling shoes that will help heal my plantar fasciitis. I've been finding myself too often nestled comfortably on the living room chair, texting messages to my sister and nieces and friends and checking emails. When those activities have been exhausted, I start checking the latest maps for where the coronavirus has hit (I validate this behavior by telling myself that I really should know which parts of Long Island, New York City, and the rest of the country, are being severely affected.) Maybe it's just work avoidance, but I find that when I actually have the free time to accomplish chores that really should be done during this enforced, stay at home hiatus from normal, every day life, it's hard to get motivated and do the work.

So how does a lazy person "cope" when forced to be home, 24/7, while sharing the home with a husband who is working his job remotely from home, and who is definitely NOT lazy? Not wanting to appear like I'm home doing nothing, I make sure to keep some file folders chock full of old papers needing to be shredded close by to wherever I'm sitting. The folders are my "go to" if I'm asked by David what I'm doing while David's on his work break (he logs in and out on his computer like he would at work, and of course he's extremely diligent and honest in his time keeping.) It's important that when David is eating lunch, I go down to the basement and replace a folder with another one so it doesn't look like I'm working on the same folder. It takes a lot of effort to not appear lazy.

Kidding aside, I think a lot of my laziness stems from guilt about not getting things done as I grew up. If I had free time as a child, I would have to mow the lawn, weed the grass, clean my room, or be at the beckon call of my parents who constantly kept me busy with household chores. That's how they were raised by their parents (two pairs of traditional, Italian immigrant grandparents who worked hard for everything they earned upon arriving in New York City circa 1920.) Laziness was not allowed; everyone in the family had to do his or her part to make ends meet. This idea was passed on to my sister and I at an early age, and the guilt stuck if you weren't meeting your obligations. Decades later, the guilt about feeling lazy for not being productive with time is still with me.

A full week passed at home, and not much accomplished. Except I did write a short piece for my writing group (and commented on a fellow writer's wonderful work.) It was time well spent. Maybe I need to spend some time re-thinking lazy.